Two days’ worth in one again.

The first day’s reading is about the daughters of a man “who died of his own sins” who petition God to be allowed to inherit his land. God says yes.

The second day’s reading has caused me some consternation. It concerns the “Holy War against Midian”. Each tribe is to give one thousand men to go to war with Midian for the trouble it caused when it sent its women into the Israelites to try to turn them against God. So far, so straightforward, in its old testament way.

What concerns me is the verse, amongst all the bloodshed, where Balaam, son of Beor is killed. You might remember him from two days ago, when he refuses to curse the Israelites, despite being offered huge sums of gold and silver to do so by the Moabites.

Moses says that the Midianite women were instructed by Balaam to sleep with the Israelite men, and that is why Balaam was killed. This seems rather a sudden turn of events.

I feel hugely disappointed – the man who provided respite from the moaning and killing of this Numbers book suddenly is killed as a traitor.

Also I am troubled by the way the “virgins” are divided up as part of the booty.

Dear God, I love you, and I believe in you and I want to believe in you more. Reading these old testament accounts is proving troubling and difficult. Please turn the trouble and difficulty into increased faith. Please show me the way to worship and glorify you while also being, as I am, a modern woman who would like her own place in your heart, not just as the subject of a father or husband.   Like the daughters of Zelophehad, please let me have my own place in your land, in your heart, at your feet, In Jesus name, Amen