I don’t know what God is trying to tell me but a strange thing happened to me yesterday after reading the story where Joseph is manipulating his brothers’ lives to “work through” his feelings of anger that they tried to kill him before selling him into slavery.

My prayer was that God would help me replace fear with trust in him. So then He places in my path a woman I met  at a regular church group for mums. I haven’t seen her in ages. Now she has always been unhappy since I knew her, but now she is living in such fear that I am sure a psychiatrist would call her paranoid.

She is terrified that black gangs are following her, and that they have targetted her son.

She describes herself as a woman “of colour”. I felt strongly that God wanted me to listen to her, and over the next two hours she poured out a load of fear, so much that I too was trembling.

Then my husband came home with more news of the money-cutters, and I was a mess.

But God, I prayed to you that you would help me replace my fear with trust, and as I tried within my limited skills to talk to her about how to do that herself, you gave me strength too.

So after that I read today’s reading, which is the conclusion of the confusion. Jacob sets up his brothers one more time, forcing them to face him and tell their story, and bear responsibility. When that finally happens, Joseph collapses into tears and reveals himself, finally able to tell them: “Now do not be upset or blame yourselves because you sold me here. It was really God who sent me ahead of you to save people’s lives.”

The brothers are so shocked they can’t believe it. But when even Pharoah comes around to congratulate them all on their reunion, they are finally they are convinced to go home and bring Jacob back to live out the last five years of the famine in safety with Joseph.

Finally, I thought about poor Jacob, who also betrayed his brother, and how he must have thought the loss of his favorite son was his own fault, when in fact it was God blessing him in a long and round way.

The long and round way. It is that which is so hard to trust in. But thank you God for this story, which shows You as you care for your sinful and wayward children, and how you reconcile them with each other.

Dear Father, Thank you for the lessons you show me, even the ones I don’t understand. Thank you for your patience that I often take so long to even ask what it is you are trying to tell me. Please give me patience and trust to wait for you to show me your will and your plan, and to submit to your will for me with joyfulness and gladness, without fear. In the name of your son Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.